This is Levelheaded Talk where we discuss Emotional Sobriety, the practices that lead us to the pinnacle of clarity in our interactions, and getting over the obstacles that keep us from being the greatest example of our truest selves with Dr. Andrea Vitz and Jon Leon Guerrero.
Jon 0:20
Welcome to Levelheaded Talk. Today's Thursday. We're talking about communication and things to do in conversation, I think in preparation for conversation and in conversation, and I've picked up on some really neat things to apply to conversations in a number of settings, and of course, all of our EMSO practices span all of our relationships, but these practical steps I am thinking of them in terms of my relationship, you know, my intimate familial relationships, and my relationship with my partner at work and the way that we can coach each other to better business communication. So, these are really, really useful. So far, we've talked about setting the tone we've talked about the first words immediately stating your intention in the conversation, that's a huge business communication tip. And then presence and presence is just a huge consideration. No matter where you are, you're going to get a lot more out of all of your conversations. What do you have in store for us today?
Andrea 1:35
Oh, today, Brevity. Please. Let it be brief. If it can be. Here's the thing, brevity is your friend, when we are using brevity or shortening our time in this conversation, there's less time for old habits to come in. There's less time or opportunities for our rules to be broken. And at the beginning of her training, brevity is our best friend. We do this by making sure we aren’t asking questions that don't require answers. We don't bring up the past, to gain evidence or increase our past resentment or pain of any kind. We adhere to our brevity to ensure that we revere the talk and when we revere it as a short window. We can't waste any time. We can't lose conscious awareness. It's going to be a short talk. Does that make sense?
Jon 2:37
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Andrea 2:39
If it's a long top you're going to go to sleep. You're going to go to sleep or lose awareness. And we don't want to go fast either. So even though it's a shortened talk, I just want to put this caveat. Don't go fast. Because when you go fast, you are going to run a program. And you're going to default to an old pattern. So, you don't go too slow. But we keep it brief, right? We don't go too fast to keep it brief.
Jon 3:12
Yeah. When we talk about brevity, we're not talking about simply shorter time. We're talking about the economy as words to succinctly express a clearer idea. So, these are things to think about. Now, one of the tips that I will give about brevity, how do I deal with gravity, I feel like I just talk and talk and …
Andrea 3:39
I think you do an incredible job and communication. That's why I want you as one of my experts. If I do an expert run on communication, okay. I think that you're such an incredible story that brevity can't be in that. But when it's just a conversation, you're very much a utilizer of brevity. You don't waste any time. You don't waste any words. You're to the point. There's usually a punch line. There's a quick, quick remark that's concise and precise. So yeah, I would say you're actually very much in the brevity realm.
Jon 4:14
Well, it's funny that you say that in that order. And I'm a good storyteller and in conversation, I exercise brevity, because that's my concern. Do I exercise brevity in conversation? Because when I'm telling a story, no, I do. Absolutely. Any. You know, I am a big fan of comedy. I study comedy and one thing about comedians is they always try to make the joke shorter. If I can get more laughs in my 15 minutes 20 minutes, hour, or whatever. A lot of time you get as a comedian more laughs, more laughs, more laughs, which means how do I make this joke punchier? How do I use fewer words and get that laugh? And so, when you tell a story, it's important that you’re brief because every word on the page of the screenplay, for instance, every word on every page on a screenplay, any editor is going to ask the screenwriter is this word necessary to move forward the story? Does this move your plot forward? So, a lot of times you can edit yourself while you're telling the story? If I go off on a tangent, sometimes there's an amusing tangent. Am I moving the story forward? And if I'm not, get back to the story.
Andrea 5:36
So, well another reason that we would use brevity is because when we’re brief, we’re more Real. We're forced to make real statements. Not being misleading.
Jon 5:50
Quit beating around the bush.
Andrea 5:51
Yeah, no manipulation. We're not coming from a malicious place. And here's the thing, there's just not time for it. And if you do choose to be malicious and manipulative, and then your intention that you stated at the beginning of this conversation was probably not authentic. So, recheck your motive within that conversation.
Jon 6:10
Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Also, think about the times that you've endured a story that lacked brevity, the story, a story steeped in verbosity. When you thought Good gracious, get to the point because you've done it. Yeah, thought it.
Andrea 6:30
You've been lectured. We've all been lectured. Well, I think that this is really great. I think brevity, just keeps us precise. It keeps us more present as presence is one of our five things that we did in conversation. And so yeah, keep it real. Keep it brief. And good luck to you and all of your talks today. I hope you have another had a levelheaded day and we’ll see you tomorrow.