This is Levelheaded Talk, where we discuss Emotional Sobriety—the practices that lead us to the pinnacle of clarity in our interactions and getting over the obstacles that keep us from being the greatest example of our truest selves—with Dr. Andrea Vitz and Jon Leon Guerrero.
0:20 Jon
Welcome to Levelheaded Talk. Today is Friday we're talking about EMSO impact on our professional lives. And one thing that I have been deeply impacted by—I think we all have—is our self-beliefs. And how they impact our professional growth. So as part of our EMSO journey, we get to know our self-beliefs and we get to know the limitations that we place on ourselves because of our self-beliefs, and there's no place that makes that more visible than our marriage, but second to our marriage is our work. And so, when we are at work, and we have limiting self-beliefs, those limitations, boy do they, they show themselves and they are out loud.
1:17 Andrea
Somebody told me the other day that they really want me to do a TEDx talk and I thought, sure, 10 years ago, there was no way in heck I would have done that. I wouldn't have even—I would have stopped listening after TEDx, like, not me. But it's like, yeah, of course. I want to share with the world and I want to help, I want to educate, I want to support, I want to hold the room, you know, with my love, my safety, and my strength, and that feels good.
1:47 Jon
And deliver something to those people so that everybody walks out energized and having learned something…
1:53 Andrea
Yeah, and knowing they're not alone. And we're all the same and I have purpose, and I have a belief that I am just as important as the other person that's done a Tedx talk that had something really important to say. So, why 10 years ago, I was the same person. I was just as smart. You know, I was just as charismatic. Why, what's the difference? Well, the belief about me not being good enough, or being invaluable, would never have allowed me to even consider that I could do something like that. So, look for what your beliefs are. What you're thinking about you, when you think about this future event, or this future position, that you're hoping to hold, of course asking yourself, “What am I hoping to accomplish by achieving this?” Because it might be coming from the belief itself. Therefore, it is not valid. But if it isn't a valid dream or belief or demand on yourself then look at what is blocking you: is it that you don't feel worthy? Is it that you feel that it would disrupt your family life too much? Is it that you think that your parents wouldn't think you deserved it? I mean, there's so many layers to this. Who would I be to the people around me, the familiar, if I were to become this? And if that's not okay, we have to examine that. Why would it not be okay? Why would it not be okay for you to grow or climb?
3:36 Jon
You know, first glance you wouldn't think that would affect you at work. But boy, did it affect your work.
3:41 Andrea
It does. And they're the subtle voices in your head that, I mean, they're so sneaky, that you might not even notice that you don't reach because of them. There's no difference between the person in the mailroom and the CEO of a major company. For the most part, really, it's the belief. There was a point where that CEO decided, I can do this, and I deserve it, and I'm worth it. And I'm going to make the skills and I'm going to earn it. And they had the vision and they followed that vision, no matter what it took.
4:24 Jon
Absolutely. And they got other people on board who recognized their focus and their vision and said, I can get behind this guy.
4:33 Andrea
And wherever there's resistance, don't stop at resistance. That's your sign to go further. If you feel resistance, it's a belief. And it's something you either are not skilled at yet, which you just go get those skills or it's something that you believe is not worth it, or you're not good enough. I recommend going through the next five steps. And at the end of those five steps, ask yourself, am I glad that I took those steps? And more than likely you're going to say yes, I am. If I had just stopped at the resistance, I would never be here and that means the next time I bump up against resistance, and I take five more steps, now I’m 10 steps ahead. What if I did it again? Now all of a sudden, the person 10 steps ahead are 15 steps ahead, thinking, I am a completely different person. I don't remember even feeling I couldn't do this. I can't believe I ever thought I wasn't going to be able to do this. But everyone has stage fright sometimes or feels inept or believes that they can't do something. There's no one in the world that's gone through their entire life thinking “I got this” for everything. That struggle, and that challenge, is what makes the change; just like if you're at a gym, the last few reps are the hardest, but those are the ones that make change. Sure, you could stop at five reps. What if you did 10?
6:06 Jon
Yeah. You stopped the five reps. You'd be along with everybody else who stopped to five reps.
6:10 Andrea
Yes. Right. So, finding that love for you and that self-respect and understanding, also, self-respect, self-esteem, you know, self-confidence, is earned. So, you can have big dreams, but you have to walk that tightrope toward those dreams and make sure that you pluck away all those negative self-beliefs along the way, but you can't do that unless you're asking yourself well, what's holding me back right now? And getting super real on the belief, looking at what behavior you’re utilizing to avoid the growth or to sabotage the growth
6:57 Jon
Yep, do it.
7:00 Andrea
And do it, go. What a lovely week this has been. I can't believe it's already Friday. A lot of fun. Happy Friday, what are you doing this weekend?
7:16 Jon
All kinds of things. Lots of fun.
7:17 Andrea
Yeah. More and more Emotional Sobriety curriculum development. Well, it's already developed, but you know, we have advanced practices coming around the corner. So we're just organizing it.
7:29 Jon
Yeah, join us.
7:29 Andrea
Join us. If you’re not on our email list. Please reach out at drandreavitz@gmail.com or levelheadeddoc.com and get your email to me. You can also go to levelheadeddoc.com and take our makeover quiz. Our emotional makeup makeover quiz. It's so fun. That's another way to get on our email list. And you'll get all the information from Levelheaded Doc and the upcoming lifted Academy. Yeah, you're going to want to be on that list, you guys, we have so much for you in store. Also, make sure that Dr. Andrea at levelheadeddoc.com is in your inbox, or primary inbox allowance folder, or in your address contact book, so that it doesn't go to spam because believe it or not, I get spammed. I think all businesses do but apparently, people are considering us a business so check your promotions folder for any kind of correspondence from me if you've ever become a member of our contacts list, and we will see you on Monday. Love you guys.