Terseness Tips with Ted

Coach Ted gives his tip for communicating directly and pointedly.
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Terseness Tips with Ted

Season 4/Episode 24
March 24, 2022
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

This is Levelheaded Talk where we discuss Emotional Sobriety, the practices that lead us to the pinnacle of clarity in our interactions, and getting over the obstacles that keep us from being the greatest example of our truest selves with Dr. Andrea Vitz and Jon Leon. Guerrero.

Andrea 0:20 
So today in my communication expert’s lineup, I have my husband, Ted O'Neill, to who I want to give just a little bit of background on some ways that he communicates effectively and what makes him so sought after as a coach because of that. So, what do you think babe?
,
Ted 0:41
Well, I think clarity, and expressing what is real, for me always comes to the forefront. So, I'll give a little example on that it's brief because I think a lot of people can relate to this. They had this happen, I think with three separate people over the course of last week through coaching calls or one on one situations. And that's where I've been consulted on how do I handle this with this person? And I'll just ask some general questions around where the struggle is. And we'll say, Yeah, I just don't know how to say, and then they proceed to say perfectly, exactly what it is that they need to tell the other person. And I said, Great, well, you don't need me because he just did it. And so, a lot of times, it's not so much that we don't know how to communicate, it's our fear of how it's going to be perceived or how we're going to be perceived in delivering the information that prevents us from going forward fully in our power. So, a lot of times if you're in a difficult situation, just slowing down and addressing what is real for you bit by bit and getting all that and that could be as simple as I don't really know how to move past this because I'm experiencing XYZ, this whatever is real for you at that moment. Now opens the door and all people maybe think that that makes them susceptible or unnecessarily vulnerable. I think it just creates an actual real dialogue within the other person can do something with that and now you have a participatory conversation, instead of one that's going to devolve later into a number of other things if I'm going to be results-oriented. So, I always think about you as a strength coach, I'm constantly thinking about outcomes. As a life coach. I'm constantly thinking about outcomes. And what's the shortest way there for me? clarity and precision in communication is the fastest most effective way to actually have a conversation or a real negotiation.
 
Andrea 2:48
Wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing. That was very clear. Just know what you want to say. Say that and be direct and this is another reason I feel like taking EMSO as a prerequisite for life is imperative because if we don't know what's real how could we communicate it? And if we don't build self-reliance and confidence, how can we feel comfortable delivering it? So obviously coach O'Neill is the picture of confidence and self-reliance, so it might sound really easy coming from him but just know it can be that easy for you as well when you do the work and wants this enough and that desire for this for yourself.

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